Ever since my husband and I became parents, our marriage has definitely changed. I’m not saying that it’s been terrible or anything, it’s just more work. Life is busier than it used to be and we both have a lot more on our plates, so it can be easy to let the daily maintenance of our marriage fall by the wayside. But, it is the daily maintenance that keeps a marriage (or any relationship really) healthy and thriving. If a relationship isn’t tended to regularly, it can slowly fall apart over time which is something we endeavor to avoid. It is the goal of my wife and I to make sure we do everything we can to keep our marriage solid, because we consider it a gift to be able to model a healthy and loving relationship for our daughter and son as they grow up. Obviously we’re not perfect and we fail sometimes, but the goal is to be in it together and learn as we go and to make sure we keep up all the little things that really are big things in the end. Here are some of those little things that keep our marriage strong.
When it comes to marriage, it truly is all the little things that add up to make a good relationship.
Little rituals
Every single morning, without fail, I kiss and hug my babie before i leave for work and we call each other not less than three times and talk about anything. Even though it has become a part of our routines, it is something that I know we both appreciate and depend upon.
I Love You Because…
We have a little “I Love you because…” board at hanging in our kitchen and we take turns writing the little things we love about each other on it. It’s not a daily thing – just a random surprise to find a note there. Usually they’re silly little things, but it’s a nice way to remember to acknowledge one another regularly.
Kids play time shenanigans
Some of my favorite times to spend with my wife are when the kids are out playing. Often we’re both busy doing this, that, or the other during their play time, but every so often we’ll partake in some kids play time shenanigans just to keep things fun. She recently taught me how to turn our sitting room into a dance floor during kids play…and a little afternoon delight is never a bad idea. There’s just something about doing such things during play time that feels illicit and fun.
Try something new
My lady is quite the lover-of keeping fit very early in the wee hours though it’s not really my jam, we recently tried a morning jog together while we both were on leave and it was a lot of fun trying something new together and I enjoyed hearing her talk about the way jogging together with me makes her feel good and encouraged – it was fun partaking in something that she really enjoys with her and trying something new together is always a good way to bond as a couple.
Considering the other
All the little, seemingly insignificant things, are what really makes a marriage keep on ticking. Simply considering the other person is such an important thing to remember. Initial we used to get caught up in doing things for either ourselves or for the children and easily forget to spend any of our time or attention on each other, so we made a conscious effort to find little ways to show that we consider each other. Something simple, like massaging her legs or her picking up my favorite candy when she passes by a candy store or even so basic as refilling my water bottle and popping it in the fridge so I can have cold water in the morning. It truly is the little things.
Have a night cap
She’s not much of a drinker, but every now and then i whip up cocktails after the kids have gone to bed. It’s a nice time for us to do something grown-up and reconnect at the end of the day. This doesn’t have to be done with cocktails though. You could always drink hot chocolate too!
Always go to bed together
Occasionally I’ll have a pressing deadline that will negate this, but in general, we have set the precedent that we always go to bed at the same time. Lying in bed and talking at the end of the day is often our best time of connecting in the midst of a busy day and going to bed at the same time also increases your chances of a little boot knocking action, which is always a good strengthener for a marriage don’t you agree?
Tooth Brush Time
Every night, without fail one of us (usually my wife) brings the other person their pre-pasted toothbrush before bed. It’s a not so subtle hint that it’s time to go to bed. A good reminder for those evenings when am stuck on doing other things relentlessly.
Date night
We try to have regular date nights together. It isn’t always weekly, but we just make sure that we are taking time to regularly reconnect by getting away together. We have some friends, who do this weekly, but ours is usually only once or twice a month, but we still appreciate it when it comes around.
Surprise each other just because
Recently I surprised her with this beautiful android phone. It was just after Valentine’s Day so she totally didn’t expect it. It was a “just because” gift that I knew she would appreciate. She love that it wasn’t something expected, but rather something unique that I put thought and effort into finding for her. She loved it.
Hug and kiss daily
A few months ago we realized that we would sometimes go a couple of days without really touching. It sounds weird, but life just gets busy sometimes. Once we realized this, we instituted a daily hug and kiss rule. Every morning before I leave for work and every evening when I get home, we hug and kiss. I’ve heard from many couples who had failed relationships that touching is one of the first things to go, so these daily hugs and kisses are a good way for us to stay connected.
Final word on this just keep doing those little things lovers do when they are still courting throughout your marriage and you will be surprised how attracted and loving you will become to each other.
